Working with an Editor, Guest Post

.Working with an Editor

Working with an Editor is one of the needed parts of getting your story read to publish.

Today we welcome Adi Alsaid, the author of Somewhere Over the Sun. He has graciously written a guest post for us about his experience working with editors on his novel. For those of you who are afraid to work with an editor or who don’t know what possible benefit an editor can give you in the preparation of your book, read on. :) Don’t forget to visit his website and check out his novel.

While writing my debut novel, Somewhere Over the Sun, I’d send an updated manuscript to my two personal editors every other week and wait for them to tear me apart. I looked forward to their scrutiny, appreciating the straightforwardness of their comments to “cut” and the sentences they highlighted and labeled simply “awk.” They were sometimes brutal, if they needed to be, and we all understood it was for the good of the novel (though I’m sure they had a little more fun on that end than I did). I think if there’s one thing to be thankful for as a writer, it’s the ability to not be offended when an editor writes into your margin, “Eww. Get rid of this.” Of course, those edits are easier to bear when just a few lines later the same editor, someone whose literary opinion I greatly trust, is swooning and demanding of me: “Do not change this part. Ever!”

Working with an Editor

I had the incredible fortune of having two brilliant ladies work with me as editors throughout the writing of my debut novel (one stopped having the time to give me detailed notes about halfway through, although her occasional tweets assured me that she was still reading, still holding me accountable for quality, and that a glass of wine perfectly accompanied my novel). The one who stopped is an old friend, an incredibly talented writer with the education and the knowhow to not only move my commas around and put a leash on my fragments, but someone who had no problems scoffing at my mediocrity or lauding my greatness.

Editor number two was a very new acquaintance at the time, someone whom I trusted with my manuscript because she obviously shared my passion and love for language, had an English degree from a well-respected university, had real-world publishing experience and big-six editorial aspirations, was obviously extremely intelligent and hard-working, and to be perfectly frank, she was someone I simply wanted to be around often, someone whose opinion of my writing, for whatever reason, mattered to me.

I am eternally grateful and indebted to both of them, my dear personal editors, for their insights, dedication, time, genuine care for my work and a billion other ways they helped make my novel better.

I could have just powered through the first draft, then sent it off to them and wait for the notes before continuing on with re-writes. But receiving their notes throughout the writing process helped me improve parts of the novel that had yet to be written. Thanks to them, I was rewriting before my words even showed up on the computer screen, I was holding myself up to a higher standard before even sending them anything to correct. Kurt Vonnegut once made a distinction between two kinds of writers: “Swoopers write a story quickly…then they go over it again painstakingly, fixing everything that is just plain awful or doesn’t work. Bashers go one sentence at a time, getting it exactly right before they go on to the next one.” I was a basher, and they were the safety net of a future that swoopers rely on. If I let something slip that was not good enough, I was confident that the next set of notes from them would include the comment, “tighten” and remind me to not be vague.

The beauty of working with an editor.

After three months, I had completed my first draft. I took a two-day break then I re-wrote for several hours every single day for a month straight, clicking back and forth between editors’ notes and the chapter-by-chapter run down of strengths and weaknesses. I went through every single comment, sometimes being a stubborn artist and ignoring a minor suggestion or three, but more often than not, I placed my trust in their judgment, and there is no doubt in my mind that my novel is better off for it.
Proof of that is the last round of editing my novel received. When asked if a copy edit was not enough and a more thorough revision of the manuscript was required, the freelance editor hired by the self-publishing company I used replied: “…I wanted to keep reading and I was laughing and wrapped up in the storyline instead of noticing any glaring editorial needs.”
I’m incredibly proud of what I’ve accomplished in Somewhere Over the Sun and I think that is a testament not necessarily just to my novel, but also to the painstaking, passionate and knowledgeable contributions of my editors, without whom my book would, quite simply, not be as good.

Author Bio

Adi Alsaid graduated from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas with a degree in Marketing, but spent the majority of his time there reading and writing fiction. Somewhere Over the Sun is his debut novel and was written in Monterey, CA. He was born and raised in Mexico City to Israeli parents whose love and support made this book possible. Adi is usually unsure of how long he will remain at any given address, but chances are he is living somewhere in the northwestern hemisphere. He hopes this book brings his readers even a sentence’s worth of happiness.

About the Novel

The story follows Alan, a spirited young writer with a wandering imagination who has discovered that the stories he writes are suddenly coming to life. At the suggestion of his loving father, Alan embarks on a quixotic journey to visit friends and use his newfound gift to write them all happier lives.

Author website:

Working with an editor should be on the top of your to-do list

They’re, Their, There

They're Their There

They’re, their, there!

Here we are for Tutorial Tuesday, January 26th, 2016

They’re Not Letting Me Play with Their Toys Over There!

As you can see I used them all in the sentence above in their proper sense. Let’s take a look at each one, shall we?


They’re, their, there quandary!

Let’s take a look at each one, shall we?


This is a contraction of ‘they are.’ If you think you need to use this in a sentence, you can test it out by replacing it with ‘they are’ to see if it still works.

They’re looking at me.

They are looking at me.

See? You should be able to interchange them easily and the sentence still makes sense.


This is a possessive. The word tells you that whatever you’re talking about belongs to them. Their toys, their car, their vegetables… see?

Their tomatoes were ripe and juicy.

The tomatoes belonged to them, not me. I would certainly buy those tomatoes from them if they are really that good. :)


This word is used to describe placement.

They parked the car over there.

It can also be used with variations of the verb ‘to be’.

There are apples all over the ground.

See? It is paired with ‘are,’ which is a conjugation of the verb ‘to be.’

It really is very simple if you take a moment to think about it when you write. In these types of grammatical cases, it is best to rely on your brain than on spell checkers found in many programs. I often get flags on my writing with these three words in MS Word when I am using them correctly. The program wants me to change it to they’re in most cases, which would not be correct for the sentence I wrote. If ever in doubt, just do this quick little test and you’ll know you used the correct one

Jan-Feb Issue of Self-Publisher’s Monthly

SPM_coverIt’s that time again! Don’t forget to go to your favorite ebook outlet and pick up this month’s copy of Self-Publisher’s Monthly. This month is full of all sorts of great information writers can use, all for the low, low price of 99 cents! It’s a bargain you can’t afford to be without!

This month’s issue includes:

Using Microsoft Word’s “Track Changes” Feature as an Editing Tool by yours truly

What is “Do-It-Yourself Publishing” by Danny O. Snow

Connect with “Influencers” and Sell More Books by Rachel Thompson

Six Steps to Generating a Powerful Marketing Message for your Book by Scott Flora

Seven Common Mistakes to Avoid When Preparing Your Manuscript for POD Publication by Joel Friedlander

Institutional Buyers and How They Can Benefit Your Book by Shel Horowitz

Book Awards Increase Sales by Dan Poynter

Live Links to Freebies and Useful Resources

Don’t miss this and all the other issues of this terrific publication!

No More Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am

writing sex scenes
Photo courtesy of imagerymajestic on

Okay, it’s been awhile since my last post, and I apologize. I’ve been insanely busy editing, and for that I’m grateful. In fact, I should be editing right now, but this post idea on writing sex scenes won’t leave me alone.

Writing Sex Scenes

Sex scenes. Please, people. If you’re going to write them, and I know you’re going to write them, make them good. What is sex? At its most basic, it’s two people (or any two creatures, but how many of you write about sex between anything except people? Okay, there may be a few of you…) slapping genitalia together in the hopes of procreating. But that’s not why you write about it, is it? At its best, it’s about the emotional connection, not the physical one. Even if your readers are in it to get turned on, it’s the emotional connection that really seduces them. So, keeping that in mind, let’s talk about what will keep the reader on the page and not skipping this part to get back to the story. Yes, it’s true… this does happen. So before you write filler just to hop from one sex scene to the next, think about that for a moment.

Sex scenes should be about more than the mechanical motions your characters are going through. Let’s face it… there are only so many ways to do it. Who’s on top? Who initiates the act? Is someone submissive? Yada, yada, yada. Yawn.

Do we really care if it’s the most amazing love fest they’ve ever had? Do we care if she’s never gone down on a guy before but suddenly she’s an expert? Do we care if he’s rough and ready the moment she bats her eyes and sighs? Do we care that all he has to do is flex his muscles and her panties are wet? Do we care about her bounteous breasts and his six-pack abs? Meh.

Let’s delve into the emotional aspects. That’s what we’re really invested in with our characters, isn’t it? What is going through our main characters’ minds during that scene? Is she really into it and filled with mental fireworks or is she going through the motions and thinking about that deadline at work or the fact she’s worried that he’s cheating on her with her best friend? This is what really makes a sex scene interesting. Maybe she starts off being distracted, but he manages to pull her focus back to the moment, and they create some magic. That stroke along her cheek that sets her nerves singing and engages an old memory of their last anniversary that was so special (which started in a similar fashion), which makes her try a little harder, makes her more attentive to [fill in whatever he’s doing to her] and makes her respond by [fill in whatever she’s doing to him]. Now how does that make them feel? Add the other senses. Are there scents that trigger a response? Lighting? Sounds? Maybe he’s able to convince her through his actions and whispers in her ear that she’s the only woman for him, now and forever. Or if he did have a dalliance, that he’s sorry and it will never happen again; it was the worst mistake he’s ever made. Or it could be reversed. Maybe she’s the one who made the mistake and she feels guilty because he’s devoted to her completely, and with every touch, every reaction she feels, guilt colors it. Make it real. Make us feel what she feels. We want to feel her relief or her guilt. We want to feel his devotion or his pain when he finds out. That’s why we read.

If we’re taken along for the seduction, then find that we’ve been betrayed, we feel the pain. But if all we get is the mechanics of sex, we don’t feel the seduction or the love and/or pain. We might as well be reading the Penthouse forum.

When writing sex scenes, invest your characters in the scene. You can only say an orgasm was more amazing than ever before once, then it isn’t believable. And besides, how was it more amazing? If you can’t describe it, there’s a problem. You’re a writer… describing is your job! Saying things are wonderful or amazing may be okay for dialogue (occasionally), because let’s face it, most of us are pretty trite when we talk. But if you’re doing a first person narrative and your sex scenes are full of these adjectives, you need to delve deeper. Explore what you’re trying to convey. If that’s all you can say about the scene, do you really need it? Get back to the story. If your story must have sex scenes, make them count. Make them an integral part that is woven into the story so well that if you cut them, the story would be missing bits it can’t do without. If your story is fine without the sex, then they’re just added in as set dressing, kind of like what happens in HBO series. You’re doing it because you can, not because it’s needed. If you’re writing erotica, this is also important. Just because you’re in a genre meant to be about sex doesn’t mean the sex shouldn’t be integral to the story. Make every scene count.

Nov-Dec Issue Self-Publisher’s Monthly!

SPM_coverThe new issue of Self-Publisher’s Monthly is out! Why am I excited? Well, not only am I a contributing editor to this fine publication, but every month, you are treated to a plethora (yes, I said plethora!) of fine articles on the art of publishing your own work.

This month’s issue offers some great advice on promotion, tightening your writing, publishers, learning to sell, how print-on-demand printing and distribution works, how to maximize Amazon’s new Matchbox and Countdown programs, how much indie authors can realistically make from their books, and more! :)

You’re getting off the cuff advice from people in the self-publishing trenches like Rachel Thompson, Scott Flora, Danny Snow, Joel Friedlander, Dan Poynter, and Florrie Kichler, and me.

Aaaaaaand… the publishers of SPM are offering a contest to win an ebook publishing package from Self-Publishers Monthly! All you have to do to enter is email an order confirmation of any issue in 2013 from Amazon, Apple, Nook, Smashwords, or any other bookseller to with the phrase “e-Book Publishing Drawing” in the subject line. How awesome is that?

I’d say you get a lot for a measly 99 cents. If you haven’t checked it out before, you really should.

You can get your latest copy here:

Gearing Up for NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMoYes, it’s that time again! Writers everywhere are plotting and planning as they get ready to dive into the trenches of NaNoWriMo.

What’s NaNoWriMo, you may ask? NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and it takes place in November. Started in 1999 by Chris Baty in San Francisco, it soon evolved into a worldwide event organized by The Office of Letters and Light. You can join here.

The only real criteria is that you write 50,000 words in 30 days. There are forums to help you if you get stuck, if you have questions on a plot point, if you need a title, if you need inspiration, or if you want local support.

Our novel, Titanic Deception, started out as a NaNoWriMo rough draft. It’s a lot of fun, and if you’ve never written a novel before, it’s a great way to get started. If you’re an established writer, it can be a a fun way to get that rough draft written quickly. Writers of all calibers participate from all over the world, and for people who don’t care for the solitary aspect of writing, it offers a social aspect we don’t get the rest of the year.

Even if you don’t ‘win’ this year, it’s a wonderful writing exercise. Meeting a daily writing goal can be challenging, but it’s a good discipline to practice. If you don’t do that now, NaNoWriMo can be the perfect excuse to start.

Got your pencils ready?

Preparing Your Manuscript

preparing your manuscriptYou’ve finally done it… written your novel. It’s complete. All those words down in one place. And you’re no fool. You’ve got an editor all lined up.  But wait.

Is it really ready for the editor yet?

When you say it’s done, is this the best it can be or did you just finish your rough draft? If you just finished typing ‘The End,’ you’ve still got a lot of work to do before you’re ready for the editor. You’ve still got some revisions of your own to do after your rough draft. Maybe this scene isn’t the best it can be. Maybe Sally should have made a different decision after that first plot point, because if she did, the whole second act would have been so much more interesting. Maybe the climax of the story still needs some work because it’s good, but it’s still oh, I don’t know, it’s missing something.

Once you’ve wrestled with all of this and straightened it out, then it’s time for your trusted beta readers, or your mom, or whoever you feel will give you the best feedback. Once you get a copy back all covered in oil stains from your mechanic (because he has true literary insight, even though he messes up your manuscripts) and you hear his critique, you can go back, fix what you truly feel needs to be fixed, and then take one more look at it.  Are you finished preparing your manuscript yet?

When you think you can’t make it any better than it is, run it through spell check. I know it won’t catch everything (like words that are spelled correctly but used incorrectly), but it will save a few of the hairs left on your editor’s head. Look at it again. Have you dotted all your i’s? Crossed all your t’s? Do your sentences have punctuation and capital letters? If not, you may need to review some basics. If you know they belong there and just didn’t put them in, put them in. Do you really want to pay your editor extra to put them in for you?

Okay, now you can send your manuscript to your editor. Your editor will appreciate all of your hard work.

You know all those horror stories about editors? About how mean they are? How they’ll tear your manuscript to pieces? A lot of that stems from receiving manuscripts that were really rough drafts. That didn’t have sentences starting with capital letters. That didn’t have punctuation at the end of sentences. That had paragraphs that lasted for pages. Dialogue without meaning that went on and on. Missing plot points, garbled structure, cardboard characters, flip flopping between tenses and points of view, repetitive anything… After awhile, editors develop twitches. And headaches. And then they begin to morph into editing monsters that lash out uncontrollably at anything that passes by that even remotely resembles a manuscript. They can’t help themselves. They hoard red pens compulsively and growl at anyone who dares reach for one. (That’s MY red pen, damn it!)  Please, for the love of God, save an editor today! Prep your manuscript properly or we can’t be responsible for what may happen next! :::eye twitches:::

:::clears throat::: Okay. Sorry about that. But it had to be said. Writers, learn your craft. Hold your head high. Be proud of what you do. Step out and say, “Damn it, I’m a writer.” Own it. Be responsible for what you put on a page. Don’t get sloppy. It’s your name on the cover, not the editor’s.

It’s amazing what a difference it makes to get a manuscript that looks well prepared. Yes, there may be shallow characters, missing plot points, repetition, and flip flopping tenses, but presentation at least shows us that the author cares enough to make it look nice. Presentation can soothe a lot of ruffled editing feathers. Nice editor. There, there.

Once your book is edited, it’s up to you what you want to do with it. You can self-publish. You can submit your story to agents. If an agent accepts it, they will probably suggest their own edits and you’ll comply. Then when they sell your story to a publisher, they’ll also send you through another editing process.

Even so, it all comes back to you. You’re the one writing and preparing your manuscript. Do it with pride.

Different Approaches to Outlining

outlining mappingOutlining. For a lot of writers, that’s a bad word. It makes them cringe or run screaming for the door. Well, I’m here to tell you that outlining can be your friend. It wants you to scritch it behind the ears and to croon sweetly in baby talk. In fact, you could think of it as a way to get to know your infant story. Awwww. Isn’t it cute? Just look at that sweet little plot point. :)

Outlining will also show you when it’s time to change that sucker and flush that scene because it stinks to high heavens. Oh yes it will.

You don’t believe in outlining, huh? Because Mrs. Davis in fifth grade made you do so many outlines that your head hurt for a solid week trying to get all those levels right with the proper sentences to describe each part of your report and it hurt you so badly on such a deep level that it has scarred you for life. For life! No, you don’t have to show me. But I’m here to tell you that outlining not only doesn’t have to hurt, but it can be fun. Why? Because you don’t have to do that kind of outline.

Here are some more intuitive variations that can help you plot out your story.

Mind maps

Mind maps are intuitive and fun. You start with your central theme or event in the center and surround it with clusters of related subjects or scenes. It allows you to work spatially rather than linearly. Once you start playing with mind mapping, it can actually be a lot of fun. You’ll find that your ideas will start to flow, and then the ideas related to your central theme will sprout ideas of their own, and like the old shampoo commercial, it will continue, and so on, and so on, and so on. Mind mapping is great for overcoming writer’s block because it utilizes both the visual and subconscious. You can create your own mind maps with paper and pencil or you can use free software you can get here.


What do they have a lot of on the internet? Pictures! Use them to outline your story. Gather images for your characters, settings, and important props and keep them in folders so you can refer to them when you get stuck. Sometimes looking at a photo will fill in gaps you were struggling with and get those writerly juices flowing again. Believe it or not, they may also help you find issues in your story so you can fix them before they bog you down in a later draft.


Draw a map of your story’s world. Maybe it’s a fictional town in the mountains or a fantasy world. Maybe you need a real map of New York City so you can plot your character’s route to work every day. Whatever you need, a map can help you put it together more realistically, even if your map is very cartoony. It’s okay. As long as it helps you with your story, it works. Some authors even end up putting a finished version of the map in the book, so don’t knock it.

Use one of these ideas, use them all. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is you start putting your ideas in some sort of order. Do you have to organize them formally on paper? No. Not unless you want to. But if it helps to keep character sheets so you remember that Jane has blue eyes and sandy brown hair instead of green eyes and dark brown hair, please do so to create a record you can refer to if you’re tempted to redraw her halfway through the book. No detail is too much for you to know. It may not make it into the book, but it’s important that you know it. That book is your world.

Using a Plan

outliningI just got a new book yesterday: Outlining Your Novel by K. M. Weiland. I’m really excited about this book and I’ll tell you why. John and I are starting our next book, and as much as I’d like to jump right in, I can’t. I have to plan it out. If I don’t, I know I’ll be barreling along and suddenly I won’t know what comes next. When that happens, I could be stymied there for months. I don’t want that to happen. I’m really excited about this story and I want it to be told. Heck, I’ve had a map of 1888 London staring down at me from above my desk for well over a year now, goading me.

Could I have planned our book without this new book to help me? Sure. But I’m always looking for new ways to streamline the process. I’d already taken Patti Larsen’s outlining course, and she got my brain juices flowing in many ways. I used her system to get the main story arc planned. But I stumbled across this little gem when I was adding K. M.’s Structuring Your Novel to my wish list. I had read about it on my friend Roz Morris’ blog, and anything Roz uses is good enough for me (Hi, Roz!). Besides, as an editor, I’m always adding resources to my reference shelf. If I can find books that help me explain issues to my clients, I recommend them.

Anyway, I’m all revved up now. Got my notebook for my outlining (not the standard outlines we did in grade school). Got my book to inspire me. Got my husband (he’s the idea guy that keeps the stories going). Got my research to keep the historical aspects accurate. Now I just need to have the time. I’ll pull it out of somewhere. I have been gloriously busy with clients, which is how I like it. Lots of clients means the bills are paid, which means I’m happy. Heck, the kids may even get winter shoes. I may even get winter shoes. :) But I digress.

My point is, I get to plan. I want to plan out every scene. I want to know if I’m missing a crucial point before I begin writing. Are all my plot points in the right place? Are my subplots making sense? Do they weave in seamlessly? This story will have psychological elements, so it’s crucial that everything works perfectly. I’d rather do the work now than try to dig through the finished draft looking for my mistakes.

Of course, I know not everyone agrees with me. Some writers prefer to discover their story as they write. I feel I’m discovering the story, but it’s during the planning stage. Of course, I still get the thrill of discovery as I write, too. The plan doesn’t flesh everything out, it just provides me with a road map. The characters may still take a side trip now and then, but I feel like I have a guide to get them back on track. If you don’t want to plan ahead of time, more power to you. Every writer has their process. I just thought I’d explain mine today.

Another writer I admire, Chuck Wendig, shared his tips for editing and revising, which utilizes outlining later in the process, so it can be a good skill to master no matter when you use it. Check out his post and apply as needed.

First Person — Continued

MP900411783When you’re writing in first person, there are some things you definitely need to avoid. Like what?

Well, that’s just silly, I thought to myself.

Duh. Who else are you going to think to? Unless your character can communicate telepathically with others, this construction is a waste of time. Get rid of the ‘to myself.’ Same with wondered and any other word that describes what may be going on inside your character’s noggin. If your character is telling the story, it goes without saying that s/he’s doing the thinking.

My thoughts drifted back to that fateful day.


I remembered the first time he kissed me.

Don’t do this. This is announcing what your character is thinking. Just have them talk about it. It’s much better for Sally to just begin the memory than announce it first.

An expression of horror crossed my face as I looked at the mess.

Don’t do this, either. The character can’t see their own face unless they’re looking in a mirror. Just say “I smiled. I looked in horror at the mess. I … you get the picture. Related to this is the ever popular “My cheeks grew red.” Again, unless they are looking in a mirror… just don’t do it. I blushed is more acceptable because the character could feel their cheeks growing warmer. Describing the sensation of warmth is even better. The trick is to think like the character and use the sensations they’re feeling rather than visual cues. First person, remember? :)


Now let’s talk about dialogue. Dialogue can’t help but be artificial in first person, but we include it anyway because it’s usually what people want to read most. If you have the opportunity for dialogue, go for it. Don’t recount a conversation as one-sided if you can help it (one exception that springs to mind is if your character is testifying in court). Readers want to witness all those lovers’ spats, conspiracies, and making up first hand.


Finally… the best part of first person. This is why we choose it in the first place. We want to write in the character’s voice. We get to act the part as we write. we get to choose their attitude, diction, thoughts, complexity, subtext… the whole nine yards. A character who is well-educated and likes to show that off uses big words and complex sentences. One who is simple may use short sentences and simple phrases. Your character can be sarcastic, both in word and tone. Whatever you choose, first person lets you revel in it. It reflects whatever you choose. A suggestion, however, for characters heavy in dialect… give it a flavor, rather than go heavy in phonetic spelling. A whole book spelled out in Cockney or Deep Southern could be rather difficult to read, not to mention condescending and probably inaccurate.


Usually distance is created by using third person, but it can be created inadvertently in first person by the phrasing you use.

I wondered if Billy would call.

This creates distance by subtly asking the reader to look at the narrator as she wonders. To get inside her head, you might try one of the following:

Would Billy call?

Maybe Billy would call.

Billy won’t call. He never calls when I want him to. Damn him!

Butterflies played in my stomach. Maybe Billy would call and ask me out.

I swore I’d never sit at home by the phone waiting for a boy to call. C’mon, Billy! Call already! God, I’m pathetic.

All of these not only eliminate distance, but they characterize what’s going on. Now we not only know she wants Billy to call, but each version adds more to the story.

Multiple First Person

I see a lot of manuscripts that make use of multiple first person. A recent mainstream example of this is Rick Riordan’s Kane Chronicles. The chapters alternate narrators. As the author, you get the fun of being inside the head of more than one character, with all the work that entails. On the plus side, you get more points of view from which to learn things, but on the minus side, you have to do all the work for each character, remembering who knows what and who doesn’t know what. This option works best when there’s a big difference between the characters.