The writer-editor relationship is very special. This is why you want to find someone with whom you can work closely. It should not be confrontational or tense. The editor should have the writer’s best interests at heart. After all, there would be no manuscript or article without the writer!
It is the editor’s job to make the most of the writer’s work. The editor should do everything possible to keep the writer’s voice in the piece. If there are questions in the editor’s mind about something, they should send a query to the writer asking about the issue. They should be polite at all times. They may need to concede at times over certain things.
The writer needs to realize that the editor is looking out for them, not being critical. The writer needs to let go of their ego long enough to look at issues the editor brings up objectively before rejecting a correction. The goal of both writer and editor is to make the writing the best it can possibly be.
If you’ve chosen a good match, writers and editors can go on to work together for years on various projects. They become good friends and colleagues who complement each other well. The writer ends up with better written material that is clear and concise and the editor has the satisfaction of helping another writer to publication or creating a professional image on a website.
Disagreements do happen; both parties need to understand that the whole point is to improve the writing. While it is true that a finished project, especially if it is as large as a manuscript, can feel like the writer’s child, the editor is not trying to take the child away. S/He is only trying to clean it up and make it more presentable.
This is why it is so important to find an editor with whom you feel comfortable. Don’t be afraid to ask for a sample of their editing or to spend time just talking with them and getting to know them. Even busy editors should realize the importance of being able to work easily together.