The week of August 5th thru 11th is going to be the week we writers talk safety on the internet. For seven days we will discuss the issues of cyberbullying, mean and vicious attacks on the internet from other writers, readers, and trolls.
I truly want the week to be one of healing, joy, and opening a path to finding a wonderful creative energy that will carry us forward.
Please join me for these Google+ hangouts on air… make sure you get a headset for these PLATFORM LIVE EVENTS. I will set up the arena and be the host. I need the rest of you to come with your stories of pain and how you see a way to stop these attacks.
I have found the writing community to be a fantastic place, the people to be open and caring… but for some it has been a nightmare!
August 5th – Where Your Truth Is Hurtful!
August 6th – It’s Not What’s Said… But How It’s Said!
August 7th – I Want Help, Not A Slap in the Face!
August 8th – Sticks And Stones Can Hurt… But Words Cut Deep!
August 9th – Knowing When It’s Just Snark And Not Hate!
August 10th – Building a Creative Energy!
August 11th – Starting The Healing And Giving A Safe Haven To All!
Those are the topics for each night. I will start each show at 5:30 PM West Coast Time, USA. Don’t forget to have a headset on, (I will block people who don’t have them. The feedback noise is too hard to deal with otherwise.)
Emotional Cost of Cyber-bullying on the Victims
We tend to look at the victims as people who need to have thicker skin, or remember to turn the other cheek!
That is not how to handle this issue, the victims are not at fault here… they didn’t ask for the confrontation!
The victim’s main emotions are of anger, humiliation and defeat.
Victims will often react back with anger at these cyber-bullies. But, in the long run this is a bad tactic that backfires, your anger is just playing into their hands. In cyberspace, anything you type can be placed in storage and used against you. A classic play by these bullies is to take your messages out of context and send it out to their friends, making you (the victim) look to the instigator and the bully the poor victim, when in fact, you are completely innocent. Don’t play into their hands. Keep calm, don’t engage, just move on. Stop that thread, those posts and even close your account there if needed.
Venting our anger is healthy and a normal way to react. Venting it to your friends in a safe place that the bully can’t react to it is the best medicine at times. It’s truly hard not to be angry. Someone who is being cyber-bullied can feel alone, trapped by these bullies, the victim can even hate looking at their emails, social media and blogs, because they feel that they are being stalked. There is often nothing anyone can do about the bullying except to try and ignore it. That is extraordinarily difficult at times. I know I felt that I wanted to get my side of the issue out there, that I can fix it all and make that person understand how wrong they are… you can’t most times. We need to know when to move on and find a safer place.
No matter who you are… being bullied will make you feel humiliated. Cyberbullying is a vicious new form of humiliation. The humiliation can flow from many sources. The victims can start believing they did something to deserve the bullying. You are not at fault, you deserve a safe environment to surf the web.
I looked around the web to see what people think the best way is to handle cyber-bullies? A great number of people said, “Do nothing!” So, we need to not react. Though, they did think keeping copies of all the abusive messages and posts that were sent to you was a good idea.
What many of these nice people forget is that these victims have no one to turn to, they discover that these websites that draw huge numbers every hour. Make huge profits from those numbers… have no systems in their company to stand up and help these victims.
The victims are forced to leave these websites to stay safe, they lose the social media, the engagement, and the possible income. Some are truly scared to death to go online, but many have have no choice. Logging online is necessary for their jobs, income and sanity. They are defeated and scared!
We need to all stand up and let the the bullies out there know that our playgrounds are a place for us to feel safe, sane and free from fear.
#cyberbullying #mobbing #victims #confrontation #Humiliation #Defeat #anger #Fear