Cyber-Bullying: Week of Healing for Writers

Cyberbully

I did this series last August, it still worth talking about again…

For seven days last August we discuss the issues of cyberbullying, mean and vicious attacks on the internet from other writers, readers, and trolls.

I truly wanted that week last year to be one of healing, joy, and opening a path to finding a wonderful creative energy that will carry us forward.

I have found the writing community to be a fantastic place, the people to be open and caring… but for some it has been a nightmare!

The Schedule:

Where Your Truth Is Hurtful!

It’s Not What’s Said… But How It’s Said!

I Want Help, Not A Slap in the Face!

Sticks And Stones Can Hurt… But Words Cut Deep!

Knowing When It’s Just Snark And Not Hate!

Building a Creative Energy!

Starting The Healing And Giving A Safe Haven To All!



Emotional Cost of Cyber-bullying on the Victims

Being under foot

We tend to look at the victims as people who need to have thicker skin, or remember to turn the other cheek!

That is not how to handle this issue, the victims are not at fault here… they didn’t ask for the confrontation!

The victim’s main emotions are of anger, humiliation and defeat.

Anger

Victims will often react back with anger at these cyber-bullies. But, in the long run this is a bad tactic that backfires, your anger is just playing into their hands. In cyberspace, anything you type can be placed in storage and used against you. A classic play by these bullies is to take your messages out of context and send it out to their friends, making you (the victim) look to the instigator and the bully the poor victim, when in fact, you are completely innocent. Don’t play into their hands. Keep calm, don’t engage, just move on. Stop that thread, those posts and even close your account there if needed.

Venting our anger is healthy and a normal way to react. Venting it to your friends in a safe place that the bully can’t react to it is the best medicine at times. It’s truly hard not to be angry. Someone who is being cyber-bullied can feel alone, trapped by these bullies, the victim can even hate looking at their emails, social media and blogs, because they feel that they are being stalked. There is often nothing anyone can do about the bullying except to try and ignore it. That is extraordinarily difficult at times. I know I felt that I wanted to get my side of the issue out there, that I can fix it all and make that person understand how wrong they are… you can’t most times. We need to know when to move on and find a safer place.

Humiliation

No matter who you are… being bullied will make you feel humiliated. Cyberbullying is a vicious new form of humiliation. The humiliation can flow from many sources. The victims can start believing they did something to deserve the bullying. You are not at fault, you deserve a safe environment to surf the web.

Defeat

I looked around the web to see what people think the best way is to handle cyber-bullies? A great number of people said, “Do nothing!” So, we need to not react. Though, they did think keeping copies of all the abusive messages and posts that were sent to you was a good idea.

What many of these nice people forget is that these victims have no one to turn to, they discover that these websites that draw huge numbers every hour. Make huge profits from those numbers… have no systems in their company to stand up and help these victims.

The victims are forced to leave these websites to stay safe, they lose the social media, the engagement, and the possible income. Some are truly scared to death to go online, but many have have no choice. Logging online is necessary for their jobs, income and sanity. They are defeated and scared!

We need to all stand up and let the the bullies out there know that our playgrounds are a place for us to feel safe, sane and free from fear.

#cyberbullying #mobbing #victims #confrontation #Humiliation #Defeat #anger #Fear

1 comment for “Cyber-Bullying: Week of Healing for Writers

  1. August 10, 2013 at 11:28 am

    John,
    Thank you so much for re-blogging this series. I wasn’t blogging then, so I didn’t see it when you first ran it. This is truly valuable. You may or may not know how many lives have been touched because of this post, but you can be sure that it helped many.

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